“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?”
This Sunday's gospel reading was about "taking up your cross." And of course, I try to relate every reading and every scripture to Tripp's situation. But this one was easy. Tripp is carrying his cross every second of every day. He is TWO years old and he's been through more pain in his life than most of us combined, yet he carries his cross with such grace and with a smile on his face. I realize that he gets his strength from God, but some days it's just overwhelming to see. Ok, so my point? Isn't innocence just beautiful? Even in this situation... where Tripp is too small to even know to trust the Lord. When we all are handed our crosses (and EVERYONE has a cross, no matter how big or how small), don't we all wish we could carry them with the innocence of a child? Without complaining, without wanting vengence, without humiliation? Don't we wish that we could just trust in God that He knows what is best. Instead of praying and trusting, do we throw blame and finger-point? I know I'm guilty a lot of times. Because it's hard. I wish I had the strength and innocence of my little man... trusting, smiling, and fighting through the pain. Because as we ALL are having to work hard for our seat next to God and work on carrying our crosses like He wants us to, I am certain Tripp's seat already has it's nameplate engraved as "Drummer Boy."
So it's about time for an update, right?
Things have been about the same over here lately. Last week we had a little scare with one of the sores on Tripp's ankle. It was red and draining and his foot started to swell, but we started him on an antibiotic (the only one we have left that's sensitive to the pseudomonas that he's covered in) and things are looking a little better. Still not 100% though. It's still pretty painful for him.
Last night was a bath night and I gave him his pain medicine and at about 9pm, I tried laying him down on the table and when I did, he pulled up and turned completely over on his stomach (first time he's done this on the bath table). WE ARE IN TROUBLE. So I guess we've been a little spoiled at bath time because he's been so good and so still for us. But he's obviously had ENOUGH. If he can help it, no more bath time for him. SO, since there would be no way that we could "handle" him rolling over like that while he was naked or I would tear his skin... I had to put him back on the rocker, give him a sedative (which I hate), and wait for it to kick in before we started. So at about 9:30, we tried again and he was knocked out. He let us undress/unbandage him without crying at all, but then after we got him out of the tub and back on the table, he cried the entire time. It was terrible. He cries if he's sedated and he cries if he's not. But at least being sedated, he can't roll over like he did.
Playtime has still been about once or twice a day that he will stand. And the rest of the day is spent rocking with us in the rocker. Each time he stands is just a few minutes- but you know me... I catch all of those minutes on video:)
So here they are... my baby's mad drumming skills!
I thought I'd never see my little angel drumming again.
He's such a little blessing.
And as always, thank you all for the continued outpour of love and support you've given us.
It carries us through each and every day.